Thursday, April 30, 2009

Ramblings and Such

I've been reading and thinking a lot about 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar. Partially because people have been asking me what I think and partially because it's coming right up!

There's no denying that things are getting intense. Everyone is feeling a shift whether they are "spiritually minded" or not. At times the shifting that we're experiencing is painful and frightening. Other times, we sense a correction taking place. We are coming home from a tangential journey that was fascinating and worthwhile but is now, nonetheless over.

Do I think the world's going to end? No. Though I'm delighted by conspiracy theories and drama, this particular, dramatic scenario has never resonated with me. We will go on and on and on...(we are eternal as spirit, so we change shape but we don't really end).

Do I think some people will shift into a new consciousness and a new reality, leaving other denser beings behind? No. This just doesn't make sense to me. Anything that smacks of elitism when it comes to spirituality and religion raises my hackles. The ones over there get saved but these ones don't...is that not the weirdest thing you've ever heard?

Anyway...I've been researching the calendar in my own dilettante-ish way. One of the articles I stumbled across was heavily mathematical (I skimmed that part!). The article was basically saying that we were coming to the end of the age of materialism, that during this age we had imposed order on the passage of time which had royally messed us up and created a disconnect with nature, our bodies and ultimately spirit.

This makes sense.*

The article went on to say that there is no way to know what's ahead though the author seemed to agree that the world would probably not spontaneously combust in a radical and crazy end game but that the shift would usher in a whole new way of being and I mean BEING.


Transitions are tough and we're in the midst of a big one!

I don't know about you but I have a mind from hell. My mind goes all over the place, thinking, thinking, thinking...getting out ahead in the future, lingering in the past, going up, down and sideways. This must be part of the reason I HAD to learn some meditation techniques. Otherwise I would simply be too nervy to get anything done.

My mind has been like a wild beast lately. I've found myself retreating into daydreams and other nonsense as a way to escape the insane lists that keep building up in there. This idea that we have to get things done, be on time, climb, achieve, strive...IT AIN'T RIGHT.

Maybe this particular age in the Mayan calendar, the one that's currently waning is what we mean when we talk about being leaving the garden. According to the article, these ages tend to last 5,000 or so years. So we left the garden after tasting the fruit from the tree of knowledge and now we're rushing around like robots clicking things off our lists. All the knowledge we possess has not made it easier to live here and we're feeling it now.

Maybe the calendar ends because the next age is still a great mystery. Maybe we have not made up our minds what exactly it is that we'd like to create next and that as the seconds and minutes tick by, we're still getting that vision together. As we close in on the end, the lessons of this age (materialism, time, technology, the development of individuality and duality) become more and more heated. We are in the midst of a climax of sorts where it's all culminating into a screeching, screaming symphony.

OR NOT. What do I know? Maybe this is just my perception and I'm the screaming, screeching symphony. Somehow I think I'm not alone...wink, wink.

The point is, we are part of something magnificent and amazing even if we have no idea what it is. Maybe that's the biggest point...WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW. We simply can't know the unknowable and that's enough to drive all of us clinically trained, rational thinking, control freaky, logical, ordered humans CRAZY.

Be crazy and know that the craziness is the symptom of the disease of the end of this age. This is the stuff that's getting deconstructed, shifted and reconfigured. It's not easy but it's freaking fantastic!!

GET READY TO ROLL.

* I'm not trying to imply that what we've created and accomplished during this particular age is wrong. Our exploration is valuable and necessary. Everything is as it should be but every ending cycle has a tendency to get so amped up, so powerful, so momentous, that it just blots out everything else. We are so immersed in the illusion of the reality that we've created (our obsession with stuff, our adherence to time and order, our desperate need for control, etc.), we simply can't see anything else and the narrowness of the focus does tend to get toxic.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Fortune Forecast 4/27 - 5/3


THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE GOES UP

Things are on the upswing this week and we can look forward to a miracle or two just when we need it the most. There is a wonderful sense of expansion and possibility in the air. It's like the warm breeze of springtime luring us out into bigger, better spaces. The wheel of fortune can be a bit tricky. Sometimes the good fortune the universe offers comes couched in an event that's unappealing. It's important to cultivate an open mind and a willingness to investigate everything that shows up. This will help us see the magic when it pops out. Relish this cycle and the treasure it brings for soon enough the wheel will start swinging down (and then up again!).

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!

Monday 4/27
ENJOY THE HARVEST
Something has come to completion and it's time for recognition and enjoyment. It would be all too easy to let this ending merge into the beginning of something new without a pause or a moment for reflection. It's essential to take time for validation, take time to let it all sink in. This simple act will give us the energy we need to move forward enthusiastically and without effort.

Tuesday 4/28
PASSIONS NEED AN OUTLET
There is wonderful energy happening today but this energy becomes irritation and impatience when it can't find a channel and a form of expression. This is a ripe time for creative thinking and creative action. Don't worry too much about perfection. The process of doing is what's important now. Happy accidents will create a masterpiece if we just make room for it to manifest.

Wednesday 4/29
INTUITIVE INSIGHTS SHIFT PERCEPTION
Our intuition has the potential to give us an empowering boost and the insight we need to make adjustments and changes. Don't be surprised to discover some resistance to the truth. It seems threatening to see things differently from the way we've chosen see things. Don't fight it. Go ahead and take time to integrate new information. Don't just brush it off. It's powerful and positive stuff.

Thursday 4/30
EXTEND AND DEVELOP MORE ROOTS
It's time to check in with loved ones and take stock of resources. Dig in. Take a break from striving for outcomes and be here now. Sometimes we lose sight of what we have in our quest to create new, bright and shiny things. Our root systems need tending today. A little bit of effort can create deeper and stronger roots that will help us weather the upcoming psychic weather, whatever that might be.

Friday 5/1
A SUDDEN PANIC IS DISRUPTIVE
Unexpected news or developments threaten to throw us off our game today. The temptation to freak out is HUGE. If we give ourselves time to let it all sink in, we're likely to see the blessing and the miracle that's being offered to us in the midst of what looks like rubble. The more we panic, the more mess we'll have. The cooler we stay, the bigger the opportunity for advancement.

Saturday 5/2
BRING IN THE COSMIC MAGIC
Ask for a cosmic blessing today and see what happens. Be totally open to how the blessing shows up. You might feel it immediately or it might appear later in the day. Imagine sparkles surrounding your body. Let all the cells in your body become this cosmic, magic energy. If there's something troubling in your life, let the cosmic magic infuse it with healing and hope. It works!

Sunday 5/3
A SEED SPRINGS TO LIFE
A seed that was planted a while ago is springing to life. It's exciting and unexpected and quite delightful. It seems that this particular project or goal suddenly has a life of it's own and won't need a lot of tending. What a relief! This means there will be no need to drop everything in order to work on it. It's doing fine and with the barest bones of care, it should grow into something quite fantastic over time.

need help with the energy this week?
STAY LOOSE AND GO WITH IT

It's all about fluidity this week (and every week...). The wheel of fortune is constantly spinning, up and down and up again. If we stay loose and go with this flow of creative energy, we seem to end up being present at the right time, at the right place. We're also more able to weather the unexpected disappointments and disruptions that occur naturally. Let go of the idea that there's control to be had and exercised. Control is not compatible with the movement of the wheel. Just keep going and do what it takes to stay somewhat detached from any particular point of the cycle. It's easy to do when we know it will soon shift again for positive or negative. Relish the good stuff this week. Don't spoil it wondering when the other shoe will drop. BE HERE NOW.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Beauty Junky

Just in time for the new moon in Taurus...a post about beautifying the home, clarifying values and other such stuff...

HERE GOES.

I've been painting some rooms in my house. Who knew how powerful paint can be? The place looks fantastic. Fresh, clean, crisp...why did I wait so long? A friend helped me pick the color. I NEVER would have chosen it but it's amazing. It glows with golden undertones when the light hits it in the afternoon.

It's funny as I go from space to space moving things around and finding treasures, it strikes me how much of this stuff I have not appreciated, including the house itself. Who knew how much beauty was right here with me as I lay gazing out my window wishing for more beauty?


I'm continuing to do some heavy purging of stuff. As I look at each item, asking myself whether or not it's going forward with me or if it will be released into someone else's care, I'm revisiting memories, feelings and times gone by. It's been amazing to take this journey and I feel fortunate to have the time and space to do it.

Some of my stuff has been suffering from neglect in part because the energy that built up around it was unpleasant for one reason or another. Some of the stuff was given to me by people I didn't always appreciate...thus the stuff became unappreciated. Some of the stuff reminds me of happy times, sad times, all kinds of times. I've been dusting, and cleaning things off. I sent some art to the framer, I've polished furniture, I've washed curtains and HOLY COW, I've got some great stuff.

One of my responses to the incredible energy of change we're dealing with these days is to try and LIVE LEAN, LIVE TRUE. This means getting down to the basics. The challenge is, I'm a beauty junky. I love to accumulate beautiful things. It's been fun and challenging to debate certain items and whether or not they belong in my cabal of loveliness.

Anyway, this is a rather silly post. I only share this in the hopes that it will inspire you to do some purging, cleaning and polishing if not your stuff, then the stuff you carry in your mind and heart. It's time to update and take stock of everything that creates and reinforces our identities. Let the new moon in Taurus help facilitate the LIVE LEAN, LIVE TRUE experience.

Getting down to the bones feels so good.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Fortune Forecast 4/20 - 4/26


TAKE OFF THE MASK

We all have masks and these masks serve an important function but this week, it's important for us to remember who we really are and have a moment or two without the carefully, constructed facade.
Sometimes we construct elaborate systems of defense and protection that end up being confining and uncomfortable. Vulnerability will bring healing for those brave enough to risk it. The mask can become distortion that we buy into and that's a problem. Let it all go and see what emerges. It's a delight to be naked! As we peel away what doesn't fit anymore, we have a chance to discover something new and authentic which will refresh and lift our spirits.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 4/20
PROTECT WHAT'S YOURS
A minor threat is in the works today and while there's no need to react with force, protection and safety are important. Sometimes we forget what we have and how valuable it is. We can be grateful that the events of today are giving us a chance to remember what we love and how to care for it. It's always good to be reminded of what matters.

Tuesday 4/21
AMUSEMENT MOVES ENERGY
Being able to laugh at the challenges we face is a wonderful and powerful way to heal those challenges. When we find ourselves sinking into seriousness we can use humor to snap out of the fear and stress. Reach out and find a friend to share stories with. It helps to get an outsider's perspective when we've lost our objectivity and our amusement is on the wane.

Wednesday 4/22
TENSION MOUNTS
Complications are arising and the tension is growing. If we remember yesterday's message, we can find a way to diffuse the energy with amusement. If we can't find a way to blow off steam, the potential for conflict is huge. Sometimes a good argument can bring healing and sometimes it's just more drama. There's a choice to be made and choice is power.

Thursday 4/23
A BUBBLE POPS
The tension of yesterday finds release and resolution today. It's a relief to move on from the conflict and be on to more creative spaces. Life feels lighter than it has in a while. Good news is arriving from different corners of the world helping to foster a growing sense of optimism and hope. This is a great day to celebrate and enjoy what is.

Friday 4/24
A REVELATION BRINGS HEALING
An important bit of news helps bring resolution and healing to a painful issue. It's as if all the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place and it all makes sense. This helps our minds relax and allows us to move into more creative spaces. We can stop fighting to make it all make sense. Expect misunderstandings to start clearing up now as everyone settles into a new truth.

Saturday 4/25
OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND
The world is cracking open and offering up a treasure trove of abundance in all forms today. It just doesn't get any better. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do with all the opportunity! If that's the worst of our problems we can count ourselves fortunate. Be willing to slow down and mull over all the options before choosing. There's no need to rush.

Sunday 4/26
STOP FIGHTING IT
Notice the resistance, feel it but don't let it run the show. This is easier said than done and we might need to seek out ways to relax and stay loose to counteract the control energy that so wants to dominate our bodies today. Now is the time for spacing out, daydreaming and healthy escapism. Turn away from those perplexing issues that can't be healed in this moment. A break is in order.

need help with the energy this week?
HONESTY IS FREEDOM

Telling the truth can be painful but once we get past the discomfort, the expansion and permission to grow is well worth it. There are stories we tell ourselves to defend against feeling the pain and over time, these stories can imprison us and keep us from seeing new opportunities as well as miracles and gifts. It's time to peel away the stuff that doesn't work anymore and risk being vulnerable and REAL. While we're doing the hard work of being honest with ourselves, we might as well get with some of our loved ones. Be diplomatic. Sugar works better than vinegar but it's time to shift into agreements that are updated and workable.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

And The Gods Made Love?

I don't know what it is about the Venus retrograde...I'M OBSESSED.

I studied astrology compulsively for many years. I couldn't get enough. I read everything I could get my hands on, took every class that came along and talked to anyone who would listen. I was a complete junky. One day it stopped. My drive to delve more deeply seemed to dry up. Isn't it strange when that happens?

The Venus retrograde has been an awakening*. It's bringing back the love and helping make sense of a confusing time period, which is exactly what made me fall in love with astrology in the first place: astrology shines a light of consciousness on the complexity of the human experience.

Here's a good Venusian story as we move through the last day of the retrograde (Venus goes stationary direct tomorrow, April 17th, 2009).


The three most powerful Goddesses of the heavens; Hera, Athena and Aphrodite are enjoying themselves at a wedding when Eris, the Goddess of strife, shows up with a golden apple inscribed for the fairest. Eris is angry about not being invited to the party. She knows the apple will make a ruckus.

As soon as Hera, Athena and Aphrodite see that lovely apple, they want it. Each believes the title, the fairest, belongs to her and a bitter argument ensues. The Goddesses demand that Zeus settle it. Zeus craftily and wisely directs them to Paris. Zeus puts Paris in an un-winnable situation and saves his own skin in the process. Paris, being a mere mortal doesn't understand the danger he's in, which is perhaps, a blessing.

The Goddesses each in turn, offer Paris the best of what they have in exchange for that fantastic, golden apple. Hera offers great riches and material wealth. Athena offers victory in battle and unbeatable military power.

Aphrodite promises beautiful, passionate, perfect love.

Paris chooses Aphrodite (our heroine) the Goddess of love. She wins the golden apple, for the fairest, and in exchange rewards Paris with the love of the most beautiful woman on Earth, Helen of Troy. The two spurned Goddesses, Hera and Athena team up against Aphrodite and by extension Paris who just wants to go off and be in love. The war begins to unfold. Eventually there is defeat, as Hera and Athena gain momentum. It's over, not only for Paris but for the whole city of Troy. All for love...


You gotta love astrology and the complex vision it offers...divine forces battling it out for supremacy, often behaving in morally questionable ways along the way? These divine entities seem capable of shocking trickery, violence and badness, who's wrong, who's right? It's complicated not unlike our experience here on Earth in these amazing, alchemical bodies.

It seems that as the retrograde reaches completion, Venus is letting us know everything she's angry about going all the way back to that time long ago when Hera and Athena ganged up on her over that dumb, golden apple!!

Everything was fine as she passed through the last few degrees of Pisces at the end of January and the beginning of February. The end of Pisces is a sentimental place, a place of heart songs and longing. Venus enjoys traveling through Pisces, they are compatible if imperfect when joined, too much fantasy.

As Venus moved into Aries, she was suddenly energized, quick to anger, fired up creatively and ready to make things happen. Halfway through the walk in Aries, a journey she was looking forward to completing, she is suddenly forced to turn back and return to those last few, achy degrees of Pisces.

She's pissed.

Venus, I understand why you're pissed and I want you to know, I HEAR YOU. I know what's bugging you because it's bugging me too. I can't wait until this particular journey winds up and you get moving along to Taurus, one of your favorite homes
and a place to rest. Hopefully we will all get some clarity and the energy needed to manifest the new vision**.

IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.

*I can't give full credit to Venus for the awakening. The shift of Pluto into Capricorn which began in January of 2008 has also been a source of intrigue, interest and mystery.
Pluto is the energy of grandmothers and female ancestors...she's got a lot to say about restructuring things that aren't working...fancy that!

**May 21st my friends...that's the magic date when Venus returns to 16 degrees of Aries armed with the knowledge and experience necessary to progress and prosper. Expect a pop in the energy, a shift, an insight, a surge of energy and movement as our heroine, Venus moves into a more comfortable space. AMEN.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Fortune Forecast 4/13 - 4/19


A DARK NIGHT OFFERS OPPORTUNITY

Not many people willingly plunge into a dark night of the soul. Most of us end up there in seemingly haphazard ways but once there, we can often see the path in retrospect. Being surrounded with the phantoms and ghosts of what scares us is difficult and yet there is tremendous opportunity for growth here. So often, we spend our precious life force energy defending against pain instead of admitting we feel it and working with it. This week we might find ourselves in dark places but as long as we remember that the light can be turned on any time, we will be ok and we might even have an amazing insight or two...the kind of insight that illuminates a new way of being and helps us discover an easier path to freedom.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 4/13
FOLLOW THE HEART
The heart is hard to follow. Sometimes it whispers, sometimes it shouts but one thing is certain; if we ignore the messages, they get louder and more insistent. These messages and directions show up in many wondrous forms and signs. Check in today and see if there aren't some consistent messages that have been coming through that are now ready to be addressed and possibly resolved.

Tuesday 4/14
SACRIFICE MAKES IT SACRED
It's easy to get overwhelmed with the demands and responsibilities of life. It feels like one more thing will be the final straw and that the tidy order we assert will blow apart. It's hard to see any requests for assistance as anything other than a drain today. Resources are tight and there's a lack of willingness to share. To sacrifice means to make sacred so if called upon, rise above the perceived limitations and give.

Wednesday 4/15
DEFEND WITH DIGNITY
A minor threat appears today and it's really not a big deal. Still, we feel defensive and reactive and thrown off our game. It's in the loss of our center and our confidence that we become vulnerable to loss. Panic is not the best place for prosperity and creative expansion. No worries, just look for ways to stay calm and know that the storm will pass quickly and even more so if our reactions are minimal.

Thursday 4/16
BE ALONE WITH IT
We build walls and construct elaborate defenses. Sometimes it all comes tumbling down. Today we can welcome what feels so awkward and uncomfortable. A truth can be looked at directly and in doing so, we suddenly have more space to make needed changes. Those careful constructions can easily trap us in ways of being that aren't authentic and lack passion.

Friday 4/17
BOUNDARIES ARE AWRY
Someone is pushing on our boundaries and it would be all too easy to let this person get away with taking too much of something we need for ourselves. It could be time, energy or other forms of resources. Stay awake today! Be prepared to say no even though it feels uncomfortable and the pushing seems innocuous. It won't stop until a line is drawn. Nip it in the bud.

Saturday 4/18
INTUITION GIVES GUIDANCE
We have to get quiet today if we want answers. Admit it...sometimes it's fun to drift with no real answers. It's easier to experiment if we don't have a plan but when anxiety levels go up, it's time to settle down and find those clues that help shift things back into a semblance of order. Even if the answers aren't what we expect, the potential for healing is tremendous and incredibly refreshing.

Sunday 4/19
OPEN TO WHAT IS
Acceptance...what a space to play in. Acceptance softens all the hard edges. When we relax into what is, we no longer have to battle to get somewhere else. Often in coming back to where we are with all the good and bad things, we discover little gifts, pieces of magic and miracles that we didn't see before. Shift from doing to being. It's a lifelong practice but a rewarding one.

need help with the energy this week?
IT TAKES ALL KINDS

It takes all kinds of experiences to make a fulfilling life. Our paths wind and turn and amble along and it's all good when we decide to go with it. Lose the judgment and the control and just go. Stop holding the past against yourself and just go. There is much here on earth that we'll never fully understand and what a wonderful thing! Take the rough edges away by relaxing into the fluidity of acceptance. It's hard but it's so easy.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

أغنية أم كلثوم: بعيد عنك/على العود

More love for Venus...

I hope you had a lovely full moon in Libra no less, Venus's domain. I'm getting ready for a road trip to the mountains with the tots. I feel like I've been neglecting the blog in favor of the drama of my day to day life. GOOD STUFF! Hopefully some inspiration will strike soon, maybe in the fragrant air of the rocky mountains.

LOVE TO YOU LOVELIES!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Fortune Forecast 4/6 - 4/12


INSPIRATION OFFERS HEALING AND MOVEMENT

A moment of clarity provides the energy we need to move and change. It's amazing when things line up like they do this week. It's as if all that waiting and thinking and struggling is for naught. We are reminded that there is divine timing and it works despite our own machinations. Conversations help us round out our ideas and plans. There is a tremendous sense of hope in the air and it's infecting even the most cynical among us. Let the buoyancy help you float like a leaf on the stream of life. Say yes to every offer that comes along. Be the epitome of willingness and see where the stream goes. When we feel so light and inspired, it's easy to trust the bigger plan.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 4/6
FRIENDSHIP LIFTS SPIRITS
So many of us get so focused on work and what we're trying to accomplish that we forget all about the connections we're working for. Someone you love is out there feeling alone and isolated. Reach out. You may have been resisting making contact, thinking you don't have the strength to help. Making the connection will give you a boost in energy, so go ahead and do it.

Tuesday 4/7
IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
An offer that seems too good to be true probably is. It's okay to get seduced with the idea and the fantasy of what could happen if you were to say yes to this. Don't fall for it. Instead, look at why this offer is so appealing. What about it offers fulfillment? Know that you can create a healthier version of the fulfillment you're looking for. Today can be playful if you want it to be.

Wednesday 4/8
THE ASCENT IS STEEP AND DIFFICULT
A project or cycle is nearing completion and the last few steps are difficult. There's an element of being exhausted by the whole thing and not having the strength to take the last few steps. Imagine climbing Mount Everest and how much ambition there is despite the fatigue. Know that there will be great rewards on the summit and it's just a few more steps. Keep going.

Thursday 4/9
RELAX INTO THE HEALING
Healing often shows up in surprising ways. Sometimes we resist the healing being offered. Be on the lookout today for opportunities to shift into a better space. There will be an element of discomfort but once the heart becomes willing, the rest will fall into place easily and naturally. This week's theme is trust and today that lesson is acute. Trust the process and be mindful of the desire to control it.

Friday 4/10
RESOURCES ARE PROLIFERATING
There is a wonderful sense of abundance in the air today. Without effort, resources are expanding and multiplying. There are unexpected gains that bring a sense of security and safety. It's easier to indulge, share and celebrate. Be careful not to clamp down on all the great energy pouring in. Trying to hoard or hold on to the resources actually thwarts the growth and expansion.

Saturday 4/11
IT'S TIME TO CHOOSE
A debate has been going on for quite some time. It might seem like the stakes are high and that making the right choice requires more time and thought. Not true. The decision needs to be made whether or not there's an assurance of success. Time and energy is being wasted in this endless debate. The only decision that needs to be made is the decision to move bravely and with grace.

Sunday 4/12
LOVE AWAITS
That's right. Love is waiting to embrace us. We are like a little boat floating in the ocean of love. There we are, alone in our boat feeling disconnected from the greatest, most potent energy there is. All we have to do is see that we're in a boat and jump into the water. Do you know how to swim? Of course you do! Jump into that vast sea of love. Let it melt away the resentments and regrets. ENJOY YOURSELF.

need help with the energy this week?
KEEP MOVING THROUGH IT

Fluidity is one of my favorite energies/spaces/concepts. Though we seem to be solid, we are really just energy and water and a little bit of containment to hold it all together. Imagine some of the challenges in your life as energy and let the energy float through and around you. It becomes real when we engage with it, fighting to change it. Keep picturing the image of a leaf floating down the stream. You can be the leaf or the stream...the imagery works on many levels. Let yourself be carried by greater forces. Notice the desire to control and gently say no. Keep moving through it.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Swampy

I don't know about you but my plans and goals keep shifting. IT'S SLIPPERY OUT THERE.

I had given up on the grad school idea, then I got a letter about scholarship money. While not great, it was more than I expected. It got me hopeful again. I decided to attend the big, informational meeting tomorrow (today) only to find out they are filled to capacity. YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAN'T COME? It kind of made me angry...angry at myself I suppose for waiting until the last minute, a reflection I imagine of my ongoing ambivalence. Still not sure how to proceed with the grad school situation ie. go or not, defer or not, apply to way cheaper school or not...

I moved out of my office a few days ago. It was a lovely, little retreat, far from the noise and chaos of the kinder but it was starting to feel like another loose end, an aspect of ownership I'm unwilling to be responsible for. It feels good to be out of there and integrating my work back into my home. I'm still adjusting to the change (thus the rather late post). Leaving is also recognition that the majority of my work is internet/phone and that my local peeps have scattered or have transitioned into internet/phone peeps. Visits to the office were becoming rare. I'm a cyber lady now!!

I've been cleaning out my house with absolute ruthlessness. All those old letters and cards GONE. Old photographs (unless they're amazing) GONE. Clothes, jewelry, blankets, pillows, knickknacks, books GONE. My pretty, pink club chair that's been brutalized by kids and cat GONE...UNLESS YOU ARE FANTASTIC, YOU NEED TO GO. I can't believe how sensational my house looks and feels. Dare I say there's an elegance to the lack of STUFF?

My husband has a job again though it's not what he wants (or what we need). It's clear that his industry and his place in it is changing. Watching him realize this is rather painful.

Finally, like a typical, fickle lass, I went back to facebook just in time to have two dear, old friends show up. I'm temporarily re-enchanted. The thing I realize about facebook and most things social networking is that no one is there for bad news...keep it fun and clever and quirky. There are opportunities for intimacy and I've been enjoying some great exchanges with lovely people but for the majority there seems to be a group agreement that we all adhere to...DON'T MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE/DON'T GIVE ME INFO THAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WORRY ABOUT YOU. As long as I remember that, things go ok.

Look me up on facebook if you feel like it peeps! Let's be friends...


The Venus retrograde in Aries seems to give shape to my experience. This particular Venusian cycle began in late January/early February and wraps up in mid-May. My late January post was LIVE LEAN, LIVE TRUE. At the time, I wasn't thinking about the astrological forces at work. In fact, this particular transit has reawakened my passion for astrology.

OH VENUS...YOUR GIFTS ARE TRULY WONDROUS AND MANY.

Here I am eight weeks into the retrograde cycle actualizing the LIVE LEAN, LIVE TRUE message. I'm letting go of all the stuff that's no longer wanted and needed. I'm getting honest with myself about some things including what's going to work and what's not going to work. I'm asking myself more and more what do you want and making space for that vision to manifest. The warrior (Aries) in me is pretty fired up after a period of what now seems like sleepy luxury (Pisces).

The uncertainty we're living with is pretty incredible wouldn't you say? It's as if we just can't picture what's coming because we are in totally, new territory and what we count on to always be the same no longer applies. I go in and out of fear, frustration and anger. It's all so shifty, like trying to climb the sand dunes in southern Colorado. You climb and climb but only seem to move a few inches.

One minute there's certainty and a plan and the next minute it appears to be a mirage in the desert. Whatever control we think we have often becomes the wavering line of the mirage out in front of us. Try as I might, I can't seem to control what's unfolding (perhaps I never really could but somehow lived believing there was a modicum of the stuff to be had?).

The opportunity to practice the space of BE HERE NOW is one of the upsides of all this shifting. What else is there but the magic of this moment...that's right...THIS ONE.

Today at the park with tots and husband; the sun on our faces and the swampy, musty yet strangely lovely and familiar smell of the Platte River in the air...those two little tots climbing over the flat, warm stones as if they were travelers to the moon...the delight of discovery palpable, that is until everyone got tired and thirsty and well...you know the rest. The demands of our bodies asserted themselves and we responded.

OH VENUS...YOUR GIFTS ARE TRULY WONDROUS AND MANY.