Friday, October 30, 2009

Grateful Dead - Althea 03-28-81

I used to have this recurring dream that Jerry Garcia was my uncle and he was going to come play at my birthday party but my parents wouldn't let him because he was too stinky and unkempt.


I hope this Friday is treating you well, friends! I'm searching for my golden shell, my next home. Funny how my idea of what I want and what's going to work keeps shifting and changing.

I'm struggling to trust. A wonderful space to be in!!

Keeping an eye on the part of me that wants control. Keeping an eye on the perfectionism. Keeping an eye on the desire to make it "right."

Hopefully this tune won't dredge up too many thoughts of body odor and what not. Sometimes stink happens during shift and change.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Things Got Nuts

Apologies for being uneven and messy lately!

My life got interesting in the last few weeks. We put our house up for sale on a Wednesday and by Saturday, we had a contract. To say it was a surprise is an understatement. I was and am stunned.

So...I let that stunning space take over and things got a little messy. I've been distracted and it shows. Oops. My apologies again and thanks to the many of you who are writing me to show me my mistakes and hanging in there with me while I get grounded again.

So. That's the story, peeps.

Now I'm getting a chance to experience the feeling of throwing myself into unfamiliar territory with the hopes of hearing the divine as I float through it. So far, so good with the exception of my professional mess.

I'm off to take my magic somewhere else...please continue to bear with me.

Fortune Forecast 10/26 - 11/1


We may get pinched into an awkward situation or two this week. We can manage these moments with grace as we slough off the resistance that makes things rigid. Perhaps the spaces that feel confining are pulling us in to tight quarters so that we can become more familiar with the energy and grow in wisdom? It's important that we know the spaces we choose to dwell in. This week we have the opportunity to see the advantages and the limitations of the choices we've made.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!

Monday 10/26
Escapist tendencies are taking on a slightly sinister tone. Dreams that once provided relief and levity are suddenly scary and energy draining. Judgments we keep close to our sleeves are popping out to be examined and may be causing a bit of drama along the way. Get to the root. What is wanted and needed? This awareness is where the healing is.

Tuesday 10/27
Today we are offered respite and perhaps not a lot of entertainment. Now is the time to relax and enjoy what is. There's no need for striving right now. Just enjoy the simplicity and the utter lack of problems. For those who thrive on stress, the peace offered now is hard to swallow. Don't worry, drama starts up again tomorrow.

Wednesday 10/28
People just seem to be itching to fight today. Everyone is irritable and it's contagious. Old resentments are bubbling up and causing unexpected outbreaks of bad temper. The only way to stay out of the fray is to stay home. Even that might bring out irritable feelings towards family, self and pets. Meditation can help.

Thursday 10/29
The answer is there when it's needed, not a second before. This can be a challenging space to contend with. There's simply no way to count on or predict anything today. If we choose to go with the energetic trend, we'll end up somewhere delightful but if we fight it, things could get tough. Go with it, not against it.

Friday 10/30
Things are suddenly cloudy and spaces that had certainty are shifty and changing. If big decisions can be delayed, they should be. A missing bit of information is on the way and when it arrives things will be much more clear. It's time to find some healthy amusements to help pass the time until the clouds burn off and the horizon is clear.

Saturday 10/31
End the debate and take action. Notice the creeping anxiety that causes the myriad of choices to seem questionable. The fear of choosing something wrong needs to be banished, once and for all. There's no right, no's all just movement and expansion. Undertake the next chapter of the story with gladness in the heart.

Sunday 11/1
Shore up. This is the time to restore and prepare for an upcoming period of acceleration. Protect and care for plans that are still in infancy. Reflect on personal needs and work to meet them. Healing will come from an awareness of what originates with us and what does not.

need help with the energy this week?

Let the tension of trying to control it all melt away. Acceptance is fluid, it moves and shifts and changes. When we lost the rigidity, it's much easier to move through dynamic shifts in energy. Whatever helps take the edge off this week, DO IT. Knowing when to let go of the fight brings success.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Fortune Forecast 10/19 - 10/25


This week, things don't move as quickly as we want them to. We can frustrate ourselves trying to control it or we can throw up our hands and start to dance.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!

Monday 10/19
Clarity is arriving just in the nick of time. Suddenly we can see to the horizon.

Tuesday 10/20
Let go, relax and indulge in a dream. It's good for the spirit.

Wednesday 10/21
Be creative and seek alternative routes to the destination. There are openings everywhere.

Thursday 10/22
Dark moods make it difficult to figure out what's going on. Light shines in the distance, illuminating the path.

Friday 10/23
Do what's possible to create more harmony. Make a gesture, even if pride kicks and screams.

Saturday 10/24
The heart needs nurturing and contact can provide what's needed. Reach out.

Sunday 10/25
It takes strength to be vulnerable. Open the heart and free the power.

need help with the energy this week?

We are never alone.

*sorry about the skeletal fortune forecast this week. i'm experimenting with a short form. we'll see. big changes this week in julia land that ate up my time and head space. apologies for anyone offended!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Dream, Come Down...Or Not

How much of our creative energy is tied up in dreams and fantasies? This space can bring great pleasure but sometimes it gets painful.

Some dreams and fantasies will never be real and perhaps that's what we want. If you've ever had a mad crush that became a real relationship and ultimately a real disappointment, you might know what I'm talking about. Sometimes a mad crush is better left as a fantasy that we control...a lush prop in our inner world. A good fantasy offers us respite from our troubles and frustrations. A good fantasy can provide entertainment when we're bored and give us creative juice for areas of our lives that need a jolt.

When we become attached to making a fantasy real, we sometimes encounter frustration, anxiety and pain, especially if that fantasy is far away from where we are now. My fantasy of becoming an astronaut could provide me hours of entertainment but if I actually tried to make it real, it would take time and resources and honestly, I'm not sure I'd be able to achieve it?

How do we know which dreams to manifest and which to leave in the dream space?

One way we can tell which path to take is whether or not the feeling of it becoming real creates anxiety. Let's go back to the mad crush example. If the mad crush is George Clooney, we might have an understanding that meeting him and becoming his main squeeze is pretty remote but if our mad crush is a co-worker or someone we see on a regular basis, the space gets more intense. At that point we might have an underlying feeling of anxiety about trying to make something happen. We might kick ourselves for not smiling or spend hours contemplating what it meant when a minor exchange takes place.

This feeling of needing to do something, do the right thing gets painful and we often use it as an excuse to parade out all the things we don't like about ourselves.

I've seen it over and over. Some people come into our lives to spark the fantasy. That's their role and trying to make them more of a real character in the story is a fruitless endeavor. Sometimes longing is where it's at.

Fantasies also cause pain when they take us away from making the changes that will shift us into a better space. Fantasy can become escapism (not a problem in small doses but a big problem when it overtakes our whole being). If a fantasy becomes consuming, it's time to pause and look at what we're so desperate to avoid in our "real" life.

Our fantasies give us clues about our soul purpose. My fantasy of being an astronaut is a metaphor for travel, exploration and adventure. Perhaps I can fulfill these needs without actually trying to join NASA? Relationship fantasies are informative too. What is the fantasy about? Excitement? Being with "bad" partner? Being seen and embraced? Finding that one true soul mate who really gets who we are? All of these are clues as to what's missing and what needs to be developed.

If the fantasy is getting painful, it's time to look to the root of what it is we think we're missing. If the fantasy isn't painful and/or too distracting, CARRY ON. Use this space to become more aware of the essence of what we're ready to create.

Fantasies help fill the well so to speak and there's nothing wrong with that.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fortune Forecast 10/12 - 10/18


Passionate energies are building in intensity and we need to stay in motion. If we let this energy build up with no real outlet, things are bound to get explosive and unpleasant. Situations that are tolerable might suddenly seem unbearable. This is our opportunity to bow out of projects and relationships that we've outgrown and that no longer fill us up. Some of us will enjoy this dynamic energy and some of us will struggle. Fire is unpredictable and it often brings chaos with it. Let the heat burn away what's no longer wanted. Creative energy is soaring and we feel ready for risks we were talking ourselves out of just a short time ago. Now is the time to initiate new projects and relationships and leave the worries behind.

check out the weekly
Good Fortune Scopes!

Monday 10/12
It's raining beautiful things today. Little sparkles of loveliness seem to be dropping right out of the sky, to be enjoyed by whomever takes the time to do so. Each one seems bigger than the one before. It's time to open to big possibilities and leave the dream crushing voice behind.

Tuesday 10/13
This is not the time to play, daydream or wander. There are definite responsibilities that need to be addressed and handled. Diligence will pay off. The harvest promises to be a big one but it will all be based on our steady, patient focus. It's okay to take breaks for refreshment but try and keep in alignment with the creative momentum happening today.

Wednesday 10/14
It's tough to get to the end of something. It's frustrating too because we are ready to move on mentally and emotionally but we can't move on just yet. There's work to be done and it's not the exciting kind of work. It's a but of drudgery. Thinking about it is worse than getting it done. Trying to skip it will create problems later. Just do it!

Thursday 10/15
Every action has the potential to be sacred. We can bring that awareness into every moment and today, that kind of energy is especially available and potent. Welcome the divine into daily trials an tribulations as well as moments of success and celebration. Imagine how rich the world would be if all were aware and mindful of spirit in everything.

Friday 10/16
Opportunity is about to come running by. We need to be willing to reach out and grab it when it shows up. If we hesitate, we might miss our chance to get into something great. Instinct will tell us how and when to act but we must be listening. Feel and let guidance come through feelings. If things feel good, we know we're going in a fruitful direction.

Saturday 10/17
Gratitude has the potential to grow and expand. Today, if we choose to focus on what's good and delightful, more will manifest. Even small moments of pleasure can help us move through others spaces that contain the makings of stress and tension. Relax into what works and don't give the problems too much time or attention.

Sunday 10/18
Strengthen the boundaries today. Getting out in the world fuzzy and unfocused could be a problem. Psychic sensitivity can be overwhelming and steps need to be taken to counter act challenging energies. Stay centered and notice the desire to take it all personally. It's not personal, so don't make it.

need help with the energy this week?

Go for it. Don't let the mind stop the flow of YES.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Big Time

Check out my first youtube appearance. I love that I come right after the word ACCURATE. Oh yeah!

I will say, however, the word flabbergasted freaks me out.

'nuff said.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Fortune Forecast 10/5 - 10/11


It's easy to drift into seeing what's not working and in the process, lose sight of what is. There's a tendency this week, to walk away from the good stuff in order to lament the bad stuff. HEAD'S UP! Look in the right places. Sometimes we have to work to see what's great, especially when stress overtakes us. The good stuff is there and it will grow and multiply as we put our attention on it. We're still looking at spaces of regret...a continuance of last week's theme but the full moon in Aries this past weekend is the shot in the arm we need to move forward. Aries might have shifted us from inertia to anger. Let the anger be a catalyst to new discovery. Aries helps us move on and feel as if we have a clean slate. Go with it, not against it.

check out the weekly
Good Fortune Scopes!

Monday 10/5
Projects that were languishing are starting to pick up speed. This is a relief and makes life easier to say the least. Things we put aside in frustration are showing promise. Inspiration is available and might show up in random conversation, books and other media. Be open to a change in direction as creative energy comes in and asks us to shift, move and expand.

Tuesday 10/6
We've all heard it a hundred times. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it's about us. The stories we tell ourselves to make sense of our lives can change. Don't hesitate to drop any narrative that promotes the role of victim. It's insulting to our spirit to define ourselves via failure and tragedy. Challenges overcome is a much more satisfying tale and it leaves the future open for bigger and brighter success.

Wednesday 10/7
People are on edge today, so expect to get caught in it. Boundaries are important now as is the understanding that it's not personal. It feels personal but the tension that erupts around us isn't really of our own making and as always, we have choices in how we want to react. Step away! This is one of those days when it might be better to hide out a bit until the stormy weather subsides.

Thursday 10/8
The cynical voice is amped up today and ready to crash the gates. If we know that we're vulnerable, we can take steps to protect ourselves by being aware. Notice the voice without identifying with it. It's not telling the truth, it's just spouting off. Activities that sooth are in order. This is not the best time to make decisions. Wait until the negativity subsides.

Friday 10/9
Old, familiar patterns offer shelter. It's okay to retreat into spaces that offer comfort even though we might sense that these spaces are coming to a close. Revisit the past today. Remember the rituals and traditions that offered satisfaction and recreate them in present time. A comfort zone is a good thing to have when the weather gets intense. Go ahead and sink into it.

Saturday 10/10
Our spirits want to wander today and explore new territory. The journey comes with a dash of chaos. Will the part of us that craves order go willingly? Yes! Intuition can guide us into ripe spaces if we allow it. Step out of routine and responsibility long enough to see, smell and taste something new. Like an innocent child, we have the potential to see the world with wonder and experience deep healing.

Sunday 10/11
Things are out of balance and with a little time and attention, we can create the order we need to feel better and more productive. There are areas of our lives that we've ignored because facing them would be too difficult and yet the more we look away, the more pain gathers. Let's undertake to look at these neglected spaces and bring hope in. Believe, restore and re-balance.

need help with the energy this week?

There's no need for radical action this week. Small adjustments can have a big impact. In our desire to move into new spaces we might be tempted to cast aside things that are viable and potentially prosperous. It's important to maintain a degree of stability now as we build new dreams. Preserve what's working while expanding into new areas of interest. Know when to be conservative and when to risk and don't be afraid to stumble around a bit on the way.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Lots of controversial news breaking these days. I find myself especially interested in the recent revelations of Mackenzie Phillips and the detention of Roman Polanski in Switzerland. Both stories at the root, are about how women and girls are treated in our society and our world; how we view sexuality, consent and how wounding sexual energy and expression can be.

I've had a lively exchange or two with friends about these stories. It's amazing how charged everyone is when we start to look at these difficult topics.

I found myself writing to one male friend something along the lines of, "get a group of women together and get them a little tipsy and you'd be shocked at the sick stories that come pouring out. Almost everyone I know has experienced something in the sexual arena that left them feeling conflicted and uncomfortable, if not downright abused. Being a woman often means being preyed upon."

Am I jaded to think and feel this way?

I'm not horrified by Mackenzie Phillips' admission of a long term, sexual relationship with her father. For years, when I saw pictures of them I felt in my gut that something was peculiar about the body language. I have compassion for her because I can imagine how complex that space must have been and when you mix drugs into the space, of course it's going to get NUTS.

I agree with her too that there is a lot more incest going on than we want to know or admit. It's upsetting but how can we create change if we can't even talk about it? How can people come forward with their stories if we react with disbelief or the wish that they would just keep it to themselves?

Oddly, I find myself defending Polanski which has really gotten some of my friends in a tizzy, especially the men. It's not that I think he didn't do something wrong, it's more that I feel his criminal case was mishandled, that he wasn't treated fairly by the judge at the time. In a perfect world, he would come back to the US and face the music but there's such a lynch mob mentality surrounding him, I don't think he can get fair treatment now either.

And there SHOULD be a lynch mob mentality when it comes to sexual abuse. Over the last 10-20 years we've gotten much less tolerant and more likely to believe the victim. This is good news. Our consciousness is being raised and we're slowly awakening and acknowledging that being female is often perilous.

I realize that by telling you how I see this stuff, you might get offended. Perhaps I myself am being controversial by sharing my thoughts on these touchy subjects. Perhaps you disagree and I respect that. What's important to me is that we all have a chance to express, explore and open ourselves to discussing these issues.

We can't as a society and a world pretend that these things aren't happening. We can't sit here in the US and feel sad for women in the Middle East or in Africa and lament their lack of freedom or the violence they experience when we ourselves are experiencing a lack of freedom and a degree of violence right here and now in our "evolved" country. These recent controversies have the potential to bring healing as we acknowledge what we don't want to...that women are still vulnerable to attack simply by being women and that sexuality is fraught with complexity and the potential to feel good and yet feel terribly wrong at the same time.

I'd love to hear from you on this subject in whatever capacity you feel compelled to share. It's ok if you get mad at me. I can take it.