Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Missionairies

Perhaps it's me but wherever I go, the missionaries follow. In my old neighborhood in Denver, I met a couple of Catholic nuns, a lovely pair of Mormons and two, delightful Jehova Witnesses. The Witnesses were the most consistent, arriving at my house at least once a month to drop off pamphlets and chat.

I enjoyed the Witnesses. An older, married couple, they seemed to think they had a pretty good prospect in me. That's because I willingly talked to them (most of the time...sometimes I felt annoyed). I like to talk about spirituality and religion.

The Witnesses possessed incredible certainty about being in a chosen or special group. They had a whole story about what's unfolding that kind of makes sense...a tad dark, but it makes sense. *This is one of those moments where it becomes so clear that we write the story and then invest in it.

The power and the will to believe + the need to make things make sense = sometimes wacky/sometimes sensible stories about why we're here, what we're doing and where we're going. We then take these stories and create experience around them so that they become "true".

So if you want to believe that devastating natural disasters are part of God's preparation for the end of this sinful reality, you can believe it. You can see it reflected everywhere you go if you invest enough energy in it.



There was no way the Witnesses were going to give much credence to what I had to say. They were beyond listening to me. It was at this point that the relationship started to become more taxing. Their fixed perspective was annoying. I was willing to have an open dialogue but there was no penetrating their armor.

No matter. My family packed up and moved and that was it for me and the Witnesses.

So...a couple weeks ago there's a knock at my door. It's pretty rare that someone just shows up and knocks on my door here in Idaho Springs. For one thing, I don't know many people and for another, our home is up on the side of a hill. It's not on the main drag so to speak. Reluctantly, I answer.

There stand two, young men in suits...Mormon missionaries! These two, YOUNG men were so polite and confident. Wow. They were probably in their late teens for goodness sake. I was touched to see them out and about. Regardless of whether or not their faith resonates with me, I think it's fantastic that young people are willing to take a stand.

So, being the relatively, friendly person that I am, we started to chat. They offered me a book of Mormon and being genuinely curious, I accepted it. They even wrote down their favorite passages for me to read. Then...they asked if they could come back to discuss it with me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
(I'm not ready to start up another relationship with Missionaries so soon...)

Not wanting to be unfriendly, I agree to a meeting (what the HELL am I doing? Venus in Pisces...how you get me into trouble). In the back of my head I'm thinking that I'll just call and cancel as the appointment gets closer but I have to admit, part of me wants to meet with them again, so that I can listen and observe. Curiosity killed the cat, I guess.

The appointment draws near and I call to make an excuse. I want out of it. Well don't you know? The young man who answers the phone is kind of stern! He isn't going to let me wiggle out of the meeting. We end up putting it off for a week. It isn't going to be easy to shake them off.

They're coming over tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully I will get around to reading at least one of the passages they recommended so that we can have an intelligent conversation.

Here's what I'd like to say to them:

1. It's just fantastic that you're devoted to God in this way.

2. I can tell your heart is in the right place.

3. I hope you find more of your flock.

AND

4. I have my own relationship with God and though it's hard to define and fuzzy sometimes, I'm pretty happy with the connection.

5. I don't feel like participating in any religion or group that considers itself exclusive of God's love and approval. There are many paths to God after all.

7. As with all religions sprung from judeo christian roots, if there is even a hint of a dismissive and/or suspicious perspective on woman power, bodies and nature, then you can count me out. *I'd love to rewrite that story...the judeo christian one that is...so much potential.

So that's that. The Missionaries are coming tomorrow. I'll try to update sometime this weekend after our meeting. It should be interesting. Will they be open to what I have to say? Are they going to be stopping by every month? Should I take them up on their offer to help me with work around the house the the yard?

IT'S ON.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Fortune Forecast 1/25 - 1/31


EXPAND ON WHAT'S POSSIBLE

Sometimes we get so comfortable in our comfort zone that we fail to see what's possible on the edges of what we know. We simply can't see it. This week, however, we get to glimpse into the big space, the creative void, churning with all kinds of new delights. It's time to get reacquainted with what's wanted. Perhaps we haven't had the luxury of pursuing what we want. It could be that this is the first time in a while that the road felt so open and unobstructed. So go ahead and entertain a dream, a vision and a passion. Let it in, let it expand. Look up and get a feeling for the big picture.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 1/25
PASSIONS RUN HIGH
Every one has an opinion today and no one's holding back. This is intense energy to deal with. It's important that we choose our battles wisely. Don't get into a fight without being clear about the motivation behind it. This will prevent energy from being wasted on silly things.

Tuesday 1/26
MAKE TIME TO PLAY
Connecting and expressing affection can shift a lot of energy. Shake off the blues and find a way to celebrate and play. Notice the world, see it, smell it, taste it. Love what's happening around, even if some of it is unpleasant and uncomfortable. Break the routine and see something new.

Wednesday 1/27
IMPENETRABLE WALLS LOOM
There's a lot of obstruction in the works today. It's difficult to make any kind of real progress. If we insist on continuing to flex our desire to control, we're in for trouble. Look for ways around the walls but most of all take a few deep breaths and step back. Distance will open up the vistas.

Thursday 1/28
THE FLOW OF ABUNDANCE SLOWS
It happens. The river dwindles a bit in winter. Don't panic even though there are developments to be anxious about. It's mostly in our perception. It's how we choose to look at it. Try not to react to messages of fear or lack. The flow will pick up again soon enough.

Friday 1/29
TIME FOR A TRUCE
Put down the battle gear. Let go of the fight. Though we may have pride about how valiantly we've fought, we mustn't let that pride keep us from knowing when to surrender. What does peace in this space look and feel like? Open to a manifestation of it because it's coming on soon.

Saturday 1/30
RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE
For those who've been waiting for the right time to advance a cause or an agenda, now is the time. The plan has been well researched and the resources we need are available. It's time to take a leap forward. Even a smal step towards making a goal real will feel good long after the task is accomplished.

Sunday 1/31
PATIENCE BRINGS REWARDS
Working slowly brings sweet rewards over time. Today we get to enjoy the fruits of dedicated, patient labor. Hopefully there is time today to relax and prepare for the next round of work to begin. Enjoy what's been created. Validate other cycles that may be in need of more patient guidance.

need help with the energy this week?
FIND WAYS TO MELT

Be it in a bath or in a book, healthy escape has it's place. Become more aware of energetic boundaries. What are you feeling? Is it yours? Did it get picked up somewhere to be looked at and/or healed? Melt that junk away. Sometimes when we step aside and stop struggling with what we don't like and become more fluid with it, it all melts away. This is the spiritual practice of the week...find ways to melt.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Little Thoughts

Here's a collection of little thoughts to entertain and elucidate.

1.
We are in a deep process of deconstruction. We can see it manifesting in the external world but really what I'm referring to is the world of energetics. Patterns that we counted on for stability are shifting. This leaves us grasping for new ways to get grounded and in alignment with emerging energies and trends.

Source energy is more apparent but not in the way we expect. We are being asked to anchor in a whole new way of thinking and being. It's challenging.

Adaptability is essential under these conditions. Stay loose.

2.
The New Age movement has not adequately addressed the meaning of suffering. The idea that if something devastating happens that we are somehow culpable is not acceptable. Neither is the blind assurance that everything will be all right. Sometimes it's not.

This query needs to be addressed if the information is to remain relevant (Okay. That statement might be a little over the top but I'm leaving it in anyway, for dramatic effect).

3.
We need a men's revolution here in the USA. The American man is under immense pressure and worst of all, no one wants to hear their complaints. We have this picture (especially of the white, American male) that they have had all the opportunity, that they have been dominant for a long time and that they have no right to complain.

I beg to differ.

It's hard being a man these days.



4.
Female energy is surging and has ever more permission to do so.

5.
We are becoming more aware of others' energies and how we are affected by these energies. It's easier to feel, see and think the connection that binds us. We are experiencing the ripples in the collective more consciously, as well as the personal (don't even get me started on the personal).

Psychic abilities are turning on in people and there's an awakening underfoot. This can be disorienting and scary. It's important to take excellent care of our bodies now, as this is where we experience the turbulence caused by the integration of new information (after all, aren't psychic abilities just another way to gather information?).

6.
Money is energy. Perhaps we don't need more money, we just need to change the energy on the money we already have. Take $100, for example. Sometimes that $100 has the power of $500 and sometimes it has the power of $20. Money can stretch luxuriously or evaporate right in front of us. Treat it as energy, energy that can be tinkered with.

Change the energy on the money you have.

7.
Success brings our energy up. If we create success and validation in one area, everything else comes up with it. Pick one area and play. Other stuff will start to fall into place around it. This method works well when stagnation descends. Pick one area and play.

...and I'll stop at 7.

If you want to explore any of this stuff and the way it's showing up in your life, please visit me at 12listen.com. We have a new "chat" feature, which is more affordable and tons of fun. Imagine me writing you notes about you and your life...answering your questions and exploring new pathways...hell yeah!

Also, Soul Song Meditation is starting up again on Thursday mornings from 7:30-8am pacific (10:30-11am eastern, 9:30-10am central, 8:30-9am mountain). This is a wonderful space for exploring energy and how we're affected by it. Come get a healing in this lovely sanctuary.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on any and all of this, mes amies...please do share!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Fortune Forecast 1/18 - 1/24


CELEBRATE WHAT IS

Whether we naturally tend towards optimism or feel more comfortable as a pessimist, we can all grow by keeping our attention on what's great about our lives. These days, it's easy to see what isn't right, fair or just. If we look too long, it can bring our life force energy down and rob of us the ability to make things better. When we start to relax into what's real, here and now, the rigidity softens and we're more able see the available options and opportunities. The New Moon in Capricorn last week most likely stirred up a lot of "critic" type energy. If there's any of that kind of energy lingering in your space, clear it out now by consciously choosing to look at what's right, good and beautiful. Make it a practice and soon it will be second nature. It feels so good!

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 1/18
NEW PLANS EMERGE
Out of the ether, new ideas take shape. We're incredibly open to fresh pathways today. It's a great time to change things up and explore. It's as if suddenly the view ahead has opened up and we can see further and with more neutrality. Neutrality helps. It tones down the reactionary energy that tends to limit what we attempt to create. We're free of that for now. Take advantage of it.

Tuesday 1/19
CHOOSE ONE FROM MANY
There's no way to do it all. It's time to cull the list. Know that by choosing to narrow the focus, there will be bigger results in the long run. The only problem is figuring out what to choose. Pick something that's truly wanted and desired. Go after a passion without worrying too much about practical concerns. Trust that whatever hurdles lie ahead are easily overcome.

Wednesday 1/20
BIG IDEAS NEED TIME
It's hard not to push for a desired outcome today. We're feeling anxious about our inability to make things happen. It's time to come back to a space of trust. It's not as easy as it sounds but even a moment in the space of faith can be restorative and refreshing. Everything is unfolding the way it's supposed to. Imperfect and challenging and unpredictable. Welcome to Earth!

Thursday 1/21
IT'S NOT FAIR
That's how it feels today. It's easy to see and even feel the inequities all around. What are we to do when confronted with injustice? Do we take a stand, do we burn up with anger inside, do we ignore it? Perhaps we experience all this and more. Suffering happens. It seems the world is offering us an opportunity to visit this mystery again. How we choose to respond is up to us.

Friday 1/22
DREAMS GET DARK
There's no way to avoid it. Today will deliver a situation that brings up fear, doubt and an inability to act. There's something very powerful lurking in the shadows but it's not what what we think. It's the power of freedom, the freedom we experience as we break through the fear and realize that what's been haunting us was indeed just a silly phantom. Have fun with it!

Saturday 1/23
DISCRETION IS ESSENTIAL
We just can't afford to be involved in everything. It's time to cull the list. What would life be like if we only chose to be involved in spaces that nourish and grow us? It's time to start entertaining that idea. The discretion we need today also applies to what we say and to whom. Be careful. A careless comment could come back to haunt. Use intuition and experience to know who is trustworthy.

Sunday 1/24
SEEK NEW PLEASURES
We don't have to expend a lot of energy but it's time to search for new sources of fulfillment and fun. For some it will mean taking a risk on a relationship. For others it might be taking up a new study. For some it might mean just drifting for an hour or a day. Don't try and maintain a tried and true routine today. Make it all about what feels good and nourishing. It's time.

need help with the energy this week?
COME BACK TO THIS MOMENT

Keep coming back! Keep coming back!
Things are shifting, energy is moving. Thinking about what might happen tomorrow or next week isn't going to bring relief. Looking back on the past and questioning choices won't help either. Keep coming back! It (whatever it is) is waiting for you right here.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

New Moon/Solar Eclipse

Get ready for some New Moon intensity! Not only are we coming into the new moon tonight at 11:11 pm pacific, it just happens to be an eclipse, which amplifies the energy A LOT.

Perhaps the New Moon is stirring up negativity in your inner world. It's just a guess but judging by the readings I've been doing lately, the inner dialogue has been getting a little abusive for some of us. Consider that this is not you talking to you. It sounds like you in your head but this voice is a learned thing. We weren't born saying these things to ourselves!

Because it's something we learned, we have the potential to unlearn it. We can dismantle it. Sure it will pop back up from time to time, but as we become more aware of it, we can learn to distinguish this harsh droning from the loving voice of guidance that wants only the best for us.

The New Moon/Solar Eclipse is bringing this critical voice to light. This is one of those ripe times when everything is on the surface, giving us the power to make different choices. Are you going to listen to that voice? Whatever that voice is urging you to do, know that it's not coming from love and thus what is created from this space will most likely not be fulfilling even if it looks perfect on the surface.

Capricorn can be a real buzz kill. I ought to know because I am one! There's a poweful drive to get things done..."what else can I do to move this along?" Perhaps the pressure to do more needs to be looked at as well under the influence of this moon.

Capricorn does stuff to find relief. One could argue that the do, do, do mentality is in some ways about avoiding what's really going on. For Capricorn, happiness can only be found by inhabiting the body in a loving way. Until Capricorn addresses the needs of the body and makes peace with it, no amount of big accomplishment will bring satisfaction. This brings me to a theme that I've touched on before here at Leonine Times...the shift from doing to being. The New Moon in Capricorn pushes us to BE. Stop thinking of stuff to do and BE.

It's hard to be in a reality that isn't what we want and hope it to be. It's no wonder so many of us are constantly looking for ways to get out, get away. Ironically, the positive changes we want to make can only be made when we come back to this moment, this body, this reality.

Sorry Capricorn!!

Let's endeavor to nurture ourselves more as the New Moon brings up the voice that says "No. Not today. You can have fun after you get through this list of pressing demands." Spend some time this evening contemplating, meditating and relaxing. Validate the hard work that has brought you to this moment, imperfect and yet so, so rich. Endeavor to love that body! As the energy in the body starts to feel lighter and better, things will start to fall together. Stop trying so hard and come back home.

From the space of being, all things flow.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Fortune Forecast 1/11 - 1/17


REACH FOR SOMETHING NEW

There is much to feel good about in the world this week and yet we can't help but find ourselves restless and in need of something new. It doesn't matter what area of life we design to undertake, what matters is that we go after it with some measure of enthusiasm. This new space, whatever it is, will catalyze change in the areas that have felt stuck and unmovable. The discovery of something fresh will also help us see where we are and the resources that are on hand. This is important information and we need to take a close look. Loneliness might prevail as we try to sort through what it is we want and don't want.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 1/11
FOLLOW THE FEELING
Intuition is speaking today. It's telling us what to do by overwhelming us with feeling. It's hard to ignore what's happening. The feelings are potent and they are giving us invaluable information about the next step in the journey. These feelings need to be acted on right away. Expect to go far. New vistas are suddenly visible.

Tuesday 1/12
BE IN THE DARK
Instead of expending valuable energy in trying to hide from the fear, go into it. Be in the dark. Once we let go of the fight and decide to visit the spaces that scare us, we often find it's not that scary after all. Go get the energy that's been tied up in defending. It will feel good to get it back and start using it for more interesting projects, like creating more love, abundance and healing.

Wednesday 1/13
MAKE IT SACRED
We're being asked to let go of something before we feel ready. There's no way to step around what's happening. A sacrifice is playing out and it's a painful one. Know that even though there's no evidence of it now, something important is unfolding. Be brave and rest on the idea that something spectacular iz already forming to take the place of what's leaving.

Thursday 1/14
EXPAND INTO OPPORTUNITY
We don't always see ourselves saying no to opportunity but we do. It could be that we're too tired to capitalize on certain opportunities, or perhaps we feel intimidated and back away, or perhaps we don't even see it until it has already run past. Today we can overcome the inertia, fear and doubt and just launch into something cool. Move into something bigger.

Friday 1/15
TENSION BUILDS
A situation that has been threatening to sill into conflict is finally reaching the boiling point. The good news is that a shift is imminent. The bad news is that there are fireworks today, as the tension reaches a fever pitch. It's a good time to start figuring out what we're willing to compromise on because we will be asked. Get ready to make concessions in the name of peace.

Saturday 1/16
PRETENDING WON'T MAKE IT STOP
Get back to earth. The head in the clouds, spacing out needs to stop now. A painful truth has been revealed and there's no going back. A vision we held dear is under fire. The new information makes our vision seem outdated and difficult to achieve. It's not really true but it will take time and creativity to come up with ways around the obstacles that are popping up now.

Sunday 1/17
RELAX INTO LOVE
A day of rest and relaxation is in order. It's been an intense week, especially the last few days. It's time to reflect and indulge in the activities that help refresh and lift spirits. See what's amazing in the environment. The world is teeming with magic. See it, feel it, participate in it.

need help with the energy this week?
BE WILLING TO FACE DISCOMFORT

Growth is awkward at best. As we prepare for bigger challenges and bigger rewards, we need to cultivate a willingness to push past limitations. We need more space and acquiring that space might include deconstructing things that don't work and aren't wanted anymore. Deconstruction can be messy but it's the only way to go these days. Go with it, not against it!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Lazy Bones

That's how I feel of late...like I've been a bit of a lazy bone. Perhaps it's the Mars retrograde (which continues until March 11th...OH DEAR), or perhaps it's that post holiday lull but whatever it is, I've been a little on the low energy side of the spectrum.

Lazy is a word that haunts me. I am lazy and it sucks. When I think about someone like Oprah or Madonna...THE DRIVE. Holy cow, it knocks my socks off. I find motivation hard to come by. It's not money or attention or ???

My parents were opposites. My father was high energy, athletic, involved in tons of volunteer stuff, cranking out articles for the paper and working for the state of Colorado. He was an impatient person, an Aquarian disturbed by the messy intimacy of family life. Still, he was inspiring in his endless, intense energy.

My mother on the other hand was a dreamer, an artist, a woman who loved to have quiet time to nap and read and disengage. She was intuitive and overwhelmed by it but she was also full of hugs and reassurance and permission to be free. Her stubborn, Taurus nature lent a steadying quality to my father's manic energy.

I feel like I have both of these energies in me and finding the balance has been difficult at best. I'm living with the imbalance most of the time and lately, mom's Venusian vibe has taken over (and since my mother and I share Venus in Pisces, let's throw Neptune in to boot).

I've been too relaxed perhaps.

Well, I'm coming back peeps, I'm coming back. It's so easy to drift off and land in some alternate universe. I think every moment is a choice between multiple universes. It all gets decided in our own heads. It could be the "what a fantastic miracle!" moment or the "my life sucks" moment. We're always choosing.

For me it's been the "Wow!" I just lived through a lot of big, profound change along with the rest of the world and as I settle into seeing my new reality, I'm realizing that my core struggles are still there. Now that the dust has settled after my move, I'm back to the sometimes frustrating task of facing the same stubborn problems I've always faced. One of them being energy flow. How to get my energy flowing so that I have the energy I need when I need it and the rest to keep me going? There are many more but frankly, they're not that interesting.

2009 was a year of exploring dichotomies. What dichotomy are you working on? The mid point is to be found when we accept both extremes.

I'll keep you updated on my progress.

Thanks for hanging in there while the blog got sloppy and my reading space was sparse. I'm back friends and you can find me if you need me.

Much love,
Julia

Monday, January 4, 2010

Fortune Forecast 1/4 - 1/10


IMPATIENCE IS PROBLEMATIC

There's a tendency this week to want to move quickly into new things, without testing or researching beforehand. It's a tad reckless. There's also a desire to look back with longing on something from the past. It seems better in retrospect than it actually was but that doesn't stop the intensity of feeling around it now. This is a potent mix of complex energy that makes what's happening right now seem unpleasant and something to be escaped. We all need to find our way back from the places we've drifted to and get engaged with the world, perhaps without expectations, with a total openness to whatever shows up. Interesting stuff. How do we channel the intensity of the energy into productive avenues and prevent it from burning us from the inside out with intensity? This is the question of the week.

check out the weekly Good Fortune Scopes!


Monday 1/4
GIFTS COME FAST AND FURIOUS
A wonderful day for receiving what the universe has to offer. From small moments to greater joys, there are bountiful opportunities to enjoy life today. A good time to relax and indulge in activities that sooth. Be receptive, be open for around every corner, a happy surprise awaits. See the magic in everything. Acknowledge the divinity in all things.

Tuesday 1/5
THE INNER FIGHT SPILLS OUT
Our inner tension is starting to manifest in the world at large. Recognize the vulnerable spaces by staying in tune with reactions to the environment and the people encountered. If experiencing difficult emotions, it's time to see that it's coming form the inside, not the greater world. We are not victims of circumstance thought circumstance can and does happen quite often.

Wednesday 1/6
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
It's time to move on from something that was once treasured and loved. Though it once shined in sparkled, it has lately become more and more of an albatross. It's time to unload it into the creative sea of the universe. Let it go and in its place comes something even more magical and fantastic. Hanging onto this any further will cause it to seem ever more threadbare and unpleasant.

Thursday 1/7
IT SPILLS OVER
The cup that is. We can have what we want today. It's available in abundance. It will be easy to see the day as a day of missed opportunities but nothing is a mistake now. See that even hearing about appealing opportunities is a healing a breath of fresh air. It's a time of announcements that things have changed and shifted into something more positive and more enchanting.

Friday 1/8
POWER STRUGGLES ERUPT
It might be time to contemplate the space of compromise. Compromise will be necessary if peace is to be obtained today. There's a stubborn vibe in the air and it's some folks are looking for a fight. Be prepared to back down or fight to the death. In other words, choose battles wisely. It would be easy to get carried away, fighting dumb turf wars for no good reason. Watch out.

Saturday 1/9
UNCOMFORTABLE STILLNESS
It happens. Some days just feel gloomy and ghostly. There's a haunting in the air and a desire to escape it but no paths are open. Though it may seem counter intuitive, we're better off sinking into the scary place. It's not that bad after all. A lot of energy will come back to us once we stop fighting some imaginary nightmare. Go with it, not against it.

Sunday 1/10
PEEL AWAY WORRY
Worry invalidates spirit. As you can imagine, this is no good. What is worry anyway? A life force draining energy that finds no relief. It's time to shake it off. Find healthy distractions, get moving. Step out of the worry suit. The layers are up and ready to be released. As they come up they will seem very real. Don't buy it. It's not real, it's old stuff. Let it go.

need help with the energy this week?
SLOW DOWN AND ACCEPT WHAT IS.

Haven't we been working on this a lot? Well it continues friends. Slow down. The urge to move quickly and without thought can be a problem. The desire to find an escape route from discomfort is also a problem. The only real solution is to embrace what's happening right now and work with it. Come back to the body. That's always the answer and where the power to freedom can be found.