Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Needing Meaning

I'm starting to get grounded here in my new home.  Wow.  I really underestimated the disorientation of the move.  I knew it would happen, I just didn't know how it would feel to live through it.  It feels great to be getting a groove going again.  New Mexico is just so beautiful to me.  I've been meeting amazing people and having a really great time exploring the city.  Luckily, it's been cool and rainy, which has made the transition softer and lovelier.

Lately, I've been really noticing the ways we assign meaning to things.  When things are running smoothly, we tend to question less.  When things go awry, we start to search for meaning.  We create a story around events to help us weather the ups and downs.  Sometimes these stories help us feel more empowered and sometimes, they make us feel more oppressed.

What if there is no story?  What happens when we move into such fluid space that we no longer ascribe events with either positive or negative significance?  It's hard to imagine what this would be like.  It's so second nature to project whatever we want into whatever we want.

Did we not get the promotion because others are jealous?  Is it because something better awaits?  Did that relationship crumble because our partner is afraid to surrender into love?  Is it because we don't know how to let love in?  Did we get sick because we weren't grateful enough?  Or because we neglected our bodies and we're now being punished?

We need our experiences to make sense.  We need it desperately because this reality is unpredictable and quite wily.  We ask our friends, loved ones and our mentors to help us find the meaning because we just don't want to be in a world that doesn't make sense.  There's something about that notion that strikes fear to our core.

I have a feeling that we're moving into a more and more disorderly and unpredictable time period.  This is going to cause some of us to go into overdrive trying to understand it all.  Doesn't that sound stressful?  It's not the events themselves that cause stress as much as the desperate quest to keep it tidy and organized in a neat, little story.

So I ask you, my friends, to really take a closer look at the meaning you assign to the events in your life.  What are these stories?  Are they based in love or punishment?  What would it feel like to have no story?  Let's ponder this and see what happens.  Perhaps we'll float and be free in a way we've never allowed ourselves before.  Let's see...

xo
-Julia

1 comment:

Michelle Rowe said...

I don't enjoy chaos, but when I am in the eye of the hurricane I am able to ride it out... only afterwards do I look back and try to analyze the meaning. Thank you for this beautiful message.